I was 11 years old, standing in line for the school cafeteria, on the cusp of my elementary school graduation, and suddenly a thought popped into my head. Y ou know fully and entirely who you are, my year-old brain said. You understand the world.
In Michelle Stevens' powerful, just-published memoir, Scared Selflessshe shares how she overcame horrendous child sexual abuse and mental illness to lead a satisfying and happy life as a successful psychologist, wife and mother. Here, an excerpt from the book:. Since birth, I had been Michelle Brechbill.
Let me tell you an everyday story about one of the many things that can happen when girls are taught to hate themselves. When I was 13, a man took me up to his apartment while his wife was out, gave me Pernod to drink and tried to manipulate me into giving him physical affection. I worked for this man in the shop he ran below the apartment, and I had agreed to go upstairs with him after weeks of what can only have been careful grooming on his part, following a sustained effort on my part to achieve what I thought was the ideal body size.
My analyst and I grew more intimately connected each week of treatment My entire body feels tense, not ideal for the setting. I try to relax, but the plush leather couch crumples under me when I shift, making the movements extraordinary.
He was 10 years older than me and was the big brother I never had. I trusted him completely and never questioned anything he asked me to do. But maybe I should have.
Because Chris told Jess that she drove him crazy, and that he loved her. Unlike her parents and teachers, he treated Jess like an adult. She felt special.
My husband Andy had an early softball game tonight so the kids and I met him there to cheer him on. And by cheer him on I mean I tried to catch him at bat at least once while watching four-year-old Sophie climb all over the bleachers and feeding tiny cut-up grapes dinner to her two-year-old twin brothers. Near the softball there's a nice playground area, and Sophie knows this.
Unlike a lot of mothers in my suburban community, I have no problem talking to my kids about sex. I was raised by a stylish diva mom of the Mad Men era. This is what informed how I educated my daughter about sex, although my tutelage was far from embittered — because sex, love, and relationships have always been a highly satisfying part of my life. I write about my sex positive philosophy in my recently published memoir Wide Openwhich describes my journey balancing romantic love and family life.
Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 15 May, Report this story. Submit Cancel. We were both sitting on the sofa watching our favorite program on television when he suddenly kissed me on my cheek.